What are online romance scams and who is typically targeted?

Online romance scams are fraudulent activities carried out through online dating platforms [1]. A scam artist hides behind a fake persona to gain a victim's trust and establish a relationship through manipulation, coercion, and love bombing [2]. Victims are often lonely men looking for women online [1], convincing themselves the person is real due to their desperation for love and validation [1]. However, older women are also prime targets for these fraudsters [3].

How do online romance scammers operate to trick their victims?

Romance scammers are professional and organized manipulators [1, 2]. They create convincing fake personas [1] and have everything planned, including love bombing and gaslighting [2]. They will give you attention and shower you with fake affection to get you "wrapped around their finger" [3]. Once trust is established, they put victims in a compromising position to force them to give them money, personal information, or anything for blackmail [3]. They often use sob stories [1] and try their hardest to lure you into their trap [4].

What are some common types of online romance scams I should know about?

Several common types exist. Catfishing is very common, where a fraudster creates a fake identity using someone else's details, often using pictures of beautiful women that seem "too good to be true" [5]. They might claim to seek long-term relationships as a facade [5]. Another type is Military Romance scams , where someone pretends to be army personnel stationed abroad [6]. They often make excuses like poor signal or strict phone rules to avoid video calls [7] and eventually ask for money to visit or come home, claiming they didn't bring funds [4, 7]. Phishing is also mentioned as a type of online scam, sometimes disguised as fake dating site notifications using fear of missing out (FOMO) to get you to click malicious links [8, 9]. Facebook Dating Scams are also noted as possible due to the platform being a hub for fraudsters [10].

How can I identify a potential online romance scammer?

A major sign is if the person you meet online seems "too good to be true" [4, 5]. Scammers tend to be overly flowery with their words and "love bomb" you [4]. In military romance scams, they often make excuses to avoid video calls, claiming to be in a strict area or having poor signal [7]. Ultimately, their goal is to ask for money, personal information, or something to blackmail you [3]. Be skeptical and don't hesitate to ask for confirmation or verification from strangers online [4].

What are the most important things I can do to protect myself from online romance scams?

To protect yourself, it's crucial to be smart, safe, and skeptical [4]. Never make the mistake of falling in love with a total stranger online unless you've gotten to know them personally [11]. Scammers are professional and organized [1]. If someone seems too good to be true, they likely are [4]. Don't hesitate to ask for confirmation or verification [4]. Avoid clicking on suspicious links, especially those in emails claiming to be from dating sites trying to lure you in with FOMO [9]. Be aware that scamming is against the law, but scammers are bold and not afraid to break it [2]. Even if you're looking for love, protect yourself by learning how to navigate the online dating world properly [12].

Why You Should Protect Yourself From Online Romance Scams

A man with an anonymous mask being sprayed with pain

Internet dating scammers are everywhere; you must protect yourself from online romance scams.

So you met someone online. Great! You talk, get to know each other, and eventually become close. They're everything you hope a partner to be. And so, you fall in love with them, and you'd do whatever it takes to make them happy.

Stop!

Before you fall for a romance scam, never make the mistake of falling in love with a total stranger online, that is, unless you’ve gotten to know them personally. For all you know, they could be a romance scammer!

Nobody likes to be scammed. Even more so if it comes at the expense of your feelings. Not only will you have your heart broken, but you'll also be scammed out of your money, or worse, have your personal details compromised.

Romance scams have been around for as long as humans have developed their ability to think cognitively. It is basically people taking advantage of another's weakness—in this case, their desperation for romance—and using them for their personal gain.

Today, romance scams have become frighteningly convincing. Men who are gullible enough to believe a scammer's sob story and manipulative love bombing are sure to be victimized.

These are professional scammers who know what they are doing. They are often organized and have spent years making convincing fake women personas to lure unsuspecting men.

To protect yourself from online romance scams, here's what you need to be aware of.

What Are Online Romance Scams?

From its name, “romance scams” are fraudulent activities committed through online dating. The victims of these scams are usually lonely men who are looking to find women online. With their desperation for love and validation, they convince themselves that the person they are talking to is real and has genuine feelings for them.

Is scamming against the law? Yes, it is. But despite that fact, scammers have become so bold that they’re not afraid to break the law to get your money. They often work as a collective entity, looking out for potential victims on different platforms, day in and day out.

These internet dating scams involve a scam artist hiding behind a fake persona. Their goal? To gain the victim’s trust and establish a relationship through manipulation, coercion, and love bombing.

According to the FBI, romance scammers are expert manipulators. They have everything planned to a tee—from the fake persona to the love bombing to the gaslighting to the eventual act of scamming.

They will give you attention and shower you with fake affection. Once they have you wrapped around their finger, they will put you in a compromising position to force you to give them money, your personal information, or anything they can use to blackmail you.

Every day, more and more men fall victim to romance scams; old, young, new, and experienced netizens have at least experienced one such scam in their lifetime—catfished, hoodwinked, or even blackmailed.

And it’s not just men who need to be careful. Older women are also prime targets for these fraudsters.

So, what kind of romance scams should you look out for?

Types of Romance Scams

There are different kinds of romance scams you need to be wary of. If you don’t know what they are, don’t worry. Here’s a list of the most common romance scams online:

Phishing

Derived from the word “fishing,” phishing is a type of online scam that may or may not be related to dating. It can be any suspicious email containing a link to what is supposedly a legitimate site or product.

If you click on the link, you are basically like a fish getting hooked. The link can either take you to a malicious site or trigger a Trojan that can steal your information.

In online dating, these scammers will disguise themselves as fake dating sites, notifying you about an opportunity that you are missing out on. Using FOMO (fear of missing out), they lure you in with links that say something like “You have 10 women in your area who like you. Click here to match with them.”

Don’t be fooled by their flowery words. Avoid clicking on the email or any of the links therein. Delete them as soon as possible.

Catfishing

Catfishing is one of the most common romance scams on the internet.

In this scam, the fraudster creates a fake dating identity using another person’s details, claiming to be said person.

One sign that a profile is fake is if it is too good to be true. They usually use pictures of beautiful women, and ensure their bio aligns with those of single men. They might say they are looking for long-term relationships, but it is purely a facade to get your attention.

Once you fall in love with a catfisher, they’ll convince you to give them favors, usually involving money.

However, not all catfishers will necessarily scam you for money. Some might just be a person with low self-esteem who craves attention and validation. They use attractive photos so you will fall for them and give them attention. Usually, these catfishers are harmless and will ghost you once they’ve had their fun with you.

While the majority of catfishing cases are relatively harmless, there have been several cases where victims have been put in compromising positions and extorted.

Facebook being shown on the laptop’s screen

Facebook scammers? They’re everywhere as well. That’s why you need to protect yourself from online romance scams.

Facebook Dating Scams

Facebook/Meta has been the biggest social media platform since 2010. It is one of the most downloaded apps and one of the most visited sites, making it a hub, not only for legitimate online users, but also for scammers and fraudsters.

With the introduction of Facebook Dating, Facebook scammers have been given a platform to catfish and potentially scam other users, thinking they’ve found someone who is into a long-term relationship.

Not only that, the algorithm isn’t fine-tuned, and once you get scammed, your susceptibility to being scammed again is high. It is best not to trust anyone you meet on such platforms until you’ve known them personally.

Military Romance

A military romance scam is when someone claims to be an army personnel stationed somewhere abroad. They claim to be looking for a potential partner.

It’s basically another type of catfishing, making victims fall for the trope of reaping the benefits of potentially being married to a uniformed personnel.

To avoid video calls, the scammer usually tells the victim their in a strict area where phones are forbidden. Hence, they’re just chatting so they can conceal their phone. Or they’ll say their area of responsibility does not have a good signal, so video calls won’t work.

Once they’ve convinced a victim that they are indeed in the military, they’ll ask them to send them money so they can come visit or go home. Since they’re on a tour of duty, they’ll say they didn’t bring their money with them, and that they’ll just pay you back once they get home.

Unbeknownst to the victim, it’s all just a ploy to get them to send money.

Be Smart, Be Safe, Be Skeptical

Scammers tend to be overly flowery with their words, love bomb you, and try their hardest to lure you into their trap.

If a person you meet online is too good to be true, you are probably right!

Don’t hesitate to ask for confirmation or verification; they’re strangers, and you have no idea who they are or what their intentions are.

Even if it wasn’t a scam and it was actually real, don’t be bummed out that you rejected them. You won’t lose anything by erring on the side of caution.

Romance scams are the reason why many people are skeptical about online dating. And rightly so! Then again, it’s not to say that you should give up on online dating altogether. Protect yourself from online romance scams by learning how to properly navigate the online dating world.

Works Cited:

What to Know About Romance Scams | Consumer Advice, https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-know-about-romance-scams. Accessed 6 May 2025.

How To Recognize and Avoid Phishing Scams, https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/how-recognize-and-avoid-phishing-scams. Accessed 6 May 2025.

Dror, Yaron. “How to spot and prevent military romance scams.” IronVest, 2024, https://ironvest.com/blog/military-romance-scams/. Accessed 1 February 2024.

MacKay, Jory. “How To Identify a Military Romance Scam: 17 Warning Signs.” Aura, https://www.aura.com/learn/military-romance-scams. Accessed 6 May 2025.

Nelius, Joanna. “I Can’t Believe I’m Still Alive After Using Facebook Dating.” Gizmodo, 2020, https://gizmodo.com/i-cant-believe-im-still-alive-after-using-facebook-dati-1843585913. Accessed 22 May 2020.

“Romance Scams — FBI.” FBI, https://www.fbi.gov/how-we-can-help-you/scams-and-safety/common-frauds-and-scams/romance-scams. Accessed 6 May 2025.

Trejos, Steph, and Patti Croft. “Don't Be Hooked by These 13 Dating Scams.” AllAboutCookies.org, https://allaboutcookies.org/online-dating-scams. Accessed 6 May 2025.