What is social media blackmail in romance scams?

Blackmail is the act of threatening to tell someone's secret or divulge private content in order to force them to do something [2]. Romance scams are one tactic a blackmailer might use [3]. In this context, a scammer often starts a romantic relationship online and then begins asking for money, gifts, or sensitive information like access to your social media accounts or banking details [4, 5]. They can then threaten to expose this information, delete your accounts, or do embarrassing things unless you pay them [5]. The primary goal of online blackmail is monetary gain [3].

How do scammers on dating apps use sextortion as a form of blackmail?

Sextortion is a form of blackmail that uses sexual content as leverage [3]. Scammers might secretly record victims during intimate webcam or phone cam activities [6]. They could also ask for nude or sexually explicit photos, often sending a fake photo of themselves first to gain trust [6]. Another method involves using editing technology and AI to make images found on your social media appear sexually explicit [7]. The scammer then threatens to share these compromising images or videos with your friends and family to demand a ransom payment [7].

What types of sensitive information might a romance scammer try to get for blackmail?

Once a romantic relationship is established, scammers may ask for sensitive information [4]. This could include gaining access to your social media accounts, which they can then hold hostage [5]. They might also request banking details, health specifics, or other private data [5]. If you are married or in another relationship, they could threaten to expose your online affair [5]. They demand a specific amount of money to stop these threats [5].

How can I prevent becoming a victim of social media blackmail while dating online?

Knowing how blackmail tactics work is a key prevention step [2, 8]. It's crucial to use only reliable and safe online dating platforms [8]. **Never share sensitive information** with someone you've only communicated with online [8]. It's perfectly acceptable to refuse requests to send nudes or perform sexual acts on camera [8]. If a scammer sends you a nude photo first, assume it's fake and **do not feel obligated to 'return the favor'** [8]. Setting clear boundaries is essential for protecting yourself [9].

What steps should I take if I am currently being blackmailed by someone I met online?

Government agencies strongly advise against giving in to the blackmailer's demands, as this typically leads to more demands and a difficult situation to escape [9, 10]. **Do not believe claims that they have access to your device or files** [10]. It is important to **collect all possible evidence**, saving screenshots of all interactions, demands, threats, platform URLs, dates, times, and any money transfer details or phone numbers provided [11]. Report the blackmailer to the platform administrator to help get their accounts taken down [11, 12]. You should also report the incident to your local law enforcement [12]. For adults, the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) is available for reporting [12]. Once you've gathered evidence and reported, **stop further contact**; block the blackmailer or temporarily deactivate your accounts to prevent more harassment [12].

How to Deal with Social Media Blackmail in Romance Scams

Person holding phone showing social networks folder, depicting how to deal with social media blackmail

How to deal with social media blackmail: be educated about the patterns and stay vigilant.

Social media has made it easier for us to find our potential romantic match. Many people have found genuine love online.

But be warned that some were also unlucky for having found love scammers who left them with broken hearts and empty wallets through blackmail—the act of threatening to tell someone's secret or divulge private content in order to force them to do something.

Social media has also made it easier for cybercriminals to target countless victims per year.

Do not let yourself become a victim. If you need help on how to deal with social media blackmail, educate yourself about the tactics blackmailers use.

What are those tactics?

How to Stop Blackmail: Recognize It

First, you need to know what blackmail is. It's crucial to remember that blackmail is not only unethical but also a crime in many countries. Under U.S. federal and state law it’s codified at 18 U.S.C. § 873.

Online blackmail has an endgame – monetary gain. Romance scams are just one tactic for a blackmailer. The finances they are after can also come in different forms, and be gained through different ways.

Sextortion

Are you familiar with the term “sextortion”? The term is a contraction of “sexual extortion,” which is a form of blackmail where someone threatens to share the victim’s sexual content unless the victim gives in to the blackmailer’s demands.

How does this happen?

There are common ways for scammers on dating apps to execute sextortion.

Nude photos or videos
Manipulated images

It can begin when the online interaction reaches a certain level of comfort. Victims may willingly engage in intimate activities via webcam or phone cam. Unbeknownst to the victim, they’re being recorded by the blackmailer.

The blackmailer may also ask for nude or sexually explicit photos of the victim. To reinforce trust, they send one of their own first. But the photo the blackmailer sends is likely fake or not theirs.

Sometimes, the blackmailer can just find images of the victim online via their social media. With the use of editing technology and AI, they can make those photos look sexually explicit.

What happens next would seem straightforward: the blackmailer will threaten to leak the compromising images or videos to the victim’s friends and family. In order to stop them, the victim has to pay a ransom.

But there is help available, and, as the independent online safety regulator eSafety Commissioner put it, you must remember that it’s not your fault. The blackmailer is the one who is in the wrong.

Romance scams

Romance scams are more familiar to most people who date online. Most people who date through apps or with social media may wonder how to deal with social media blackmail as a matter of precaution. It’s the most common fear.

The typical model would be a scammer initiating a romantic relationship with the target. Once romance is established, they would then start asking for money or gifts.

How does this turn into blackmail?

Gifts aren’t the only things that they can ask for. They can also ask for sensitive information, such as access to your social media accounts.

From there, they can hold your accounts hostage. They can threaten to delete your accounts or use them to do embarrassing things which will, of course, frame you.

They can also ask you for sensitive information, such as banking details, health specifics, etc.

If you’re not free to be romantically involved with anyone else – for example, you’re already married – they can threaten to expose your online affair too.

They will tell you they’ll stop if you pay them a certain amount of money.

Trust scams

This one doesn’t even need romance, but it does rely on love and relationships. Blackmailers can hack into or impersonate someone you know in person to gain your trust.

They can send you malicious links, which can grant them access to your personal and private information. This is how they can hold your private files and data for ransom. They can also use these to ask for money by pretending to be a relative in need of help.

Can Blackmail Be Prevented?

Person using phone and laptop, depicting scammers on dating apps

Beware of scammers on dating apps!

Knowing how to stop someone from blackmailing you is the first line of defense. It’s all about preventing it from happening to begin with.

For those who date online, it’s crucial to only use reliable and safe platforms. Never divulge sensitive information with someone you’ve only spoken to online.

Remember that it’s always okay to refuse to send nudes or to perform any sexual acts on camera. Even when the blackmailer sends you a nude photo of their own, assume that it’s fake. Don’t feel obligated to “return the favor” so to speak.

It’s all about boundaries. No romantic interest is worth keeping if they can’t respect yours.

What If You Can’t Prevent It?

Preventing it is ideal, but sometimes, it’s just too late. You might have been victimized already before you even realized what was going on.

So, what to do if someone blackmails you?

In these situations, government agencies such as the FBI and ICE have published informative articles on their websites about ways that those targeted by these fraudsters can protect themselves and minimize the damage that’s been done.

They’re clear that you should not give in to the blackmailer’s demands. Don’t believe them when they claim to have access to your device or files. They may or may not have such access, but if you give in to their demands, that’s a downward spiral. The demands won’t stop, and you won’t be able to find your way out. You might even find yourself committing crimes for them.

Look up online tools that prevent your image from being shared on any other platforms. Tools like StopNCII.org are available for free and won’t ask you to upload your image into their database.

Collect all possible pieces of evidence

Save a record and screenshots of all interactions you had with the blackmailer. This includes their demands and threats. It’s also best to document the platform URL where the blackmailer sent you a threat.

Include the time and date they contacted you. If available, keep a record of the blackmailer’s declared money-transfer info or phone number.

Report the blackmailer

According to US Immigration and Customs Enforcement, you can report the blackmailer to the platform administrator so that they can take down the offenders’ accounts.

Most of the big social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram have steps for how to deal with social media blackmail by reporting it.

You should also report it to your local law enforcement because they can, at the very least, help you with your next steps.

For adults, the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) is available.

Stop further contact

When you start seeing the patterns, stop further interactions. Avoid sharing any more details.

Once you’ve collected evidence, use in-app functions to block the blackmailer. Or you may also temporarily deactivate your accounts to prevent further harassment from the blackmailer.

Don’t Let Blackmail Dictate Your Life

We’ve only shared general information here. You would be wise to educate yourself on self-protection online. Consider it an addition to your repertoire of survival skills.

It’s always better to begin with trustworthy platforms, one that verifies the identity of all its users. One where online dating is only the first step, with face-to-face interaction as its goal.

Love can be found online, even if you need to be extra careful during your search.

References:

Title 18 United States Code, Section 873

US Immigration and Customs Enforcement. 2025. “Protect Yourself Against Romance Scams.” ICE.gov. https://www.ice.gov/about-ice/hsi/news/hsi-insider/romance-scams-protect-yourself.

eSafetyCommissioner. 2025. “Dealing with sexual extortion.” Image-based abuse. https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/image-based-abuse/deal-with-sextortion.

Stop Non-Consensual Intimate Image Abuse. n.d. “What do you do if someone is threatening to share your intimate images?” StopNCII.org. https://stopncii.org/.