How can I determine if a woman I've met online is genuine and not a 'catfisher' pretending to be someone else?

To determine if someone you've met online is genuine, you should look for several verification signs. Many dating sites offer verification badges [4, 5]. You can also try **cross-referencing their social media profiles** to check for consistency in their name, personal information, and photos, paying attention to when the account was created and the timeline of their posts [6, 7]. Another effective method is to **ask for random, specific photos or videos**, like them holding up a piece of paper with the current date and time [8, 9]. Finally, **suggesting a video call** is a strong way to confirm their identity, as catfishers often avoid video calls [9, 10].

What are some common red flags that might indicate I am talking to a romance scammer online?

Several red flags can indicate a potential romance scam. Be wary if the person **quickly expresses intense feelings of love** for you (love bombing) [11, 12]. If they **make up sob stories** to gain your sympathy and eventually ask for money, this is a significant warning sign [11, 12]. Inconsistencies in their stories and reluctance to answer specific questions or provide details about their life are also red flags [10]. Avoid individuals who are hesitant to show themselves on video or in recent, unposed photos [9].

If someone I'm communicating with online, particularly from a foreign country, asks me for financial assistance, should I be concerned?

Yes, you should be very concerned if someone you've met online asks you for money, especially early in the relationship [11]. This is a common tactic used by **internet dating fraudsters** who create fake personas to exploit victims [12, 13]. The source indicates that some catfishers 'fish for gold' by targeting individuals for financial gain, often using emotional manipulation [11, 13]. It's crucial to be cautious and avoid sending money to someone you haven't met in person and whose identity you haven't thoroughly verified.

Are there different motivations behind catfishing, and how can understanding these help me stay safe while looking for a partner online?

Yes, while financial gain is a primary motivation ('fishing for gold'), the source also identifies other types of catfishers [11]. Some are 'hopeless romantics' who lack confidence and create fake profiles to experience love and affection without financial intentions [14, 15]. Others, known as 'the vengeful,' may create fake profiles to get revenge on former partners [16]. Understanding these motivations can help you interpret online interactions. However, regardless of the motivation, **remember that anyone misrepresenting themselves online is not being honest**, and it's wise to proceed with caution and prioritize verifying their identity [14].

Beyond verifying identity, what general advice can help me avoid becoming a victim of online dating scams when seeking a serious relationship with someone I meet online?

Beyond verifying identity through social media, photos, and video calls, it's crucial to **trust your instincts** [17]. If something feels too good to be true, it likely is [17]. Be cautious about sharing excessive personal information too early in the communication. Take your time to get to know someone, and don't feel pressured into escalating the relationship quickly. Remember that while many successful relationships start online [4], vigilance and a healthy dose of skepticism are essential to avoid becoming a victim of romance fraud [11, 13, 18].

Fake Love and Fake Accounts | The Gist of Catfishing

Tons of scammers catfish with fake love and fake validations to lure you into their trap.

When people talk about dating apps, one thing usually crosses their minds: Scams. And they have good reason to think so.

Catfishers, gold-diggers, fraudsters, blackmailers, you name it. In fact, every now and then, you might read in the news a story about an unsuspecting victim who was scammed by someone they met online.

However, it's not to say that you should avoid online dating altogether. While there are cases of scamming in the online dating world, there are just as many, maybe even more, success stories of men finding the love of their lives online.

As a precaution, many dating sites have come up with ways to verify users. Some will require you to snap a selfie that they'll use as a verification. Some require you to link your social media. And some even go to great lengths by requiring background checks.

Unfortunately, even with the latest technological security measures these dating apps provide, scammers still manage to infiltrate the online dating scene.

The most common of these online dating scam tactics is called "Catfishing."

What is Catfishing, and what is its main goal?

Nev Schulman, host and executive producer of the hit MTV Show “Catfish: The TV Show,” popularized the term catfish, referring to catfish being tanked along with a school of cod when they were shipped from Alaska to China.

He even experienced it firsthand when he had an online relationship with a woman who faked her persona and details—a romance fraud which led to him making the MTV series.

Catfishing scams are a type of romance scam where internet dating fraudsters create a persona, fabricate their history and information, and use another person’s picture to lure the victim into thinking they’re talking to a real person online.

Catfishers pretend to be someone else, carefully crafting a fake profile to lure unsuspecting victims. Their reasons for doing so can be because they lack the confidence to present themselves—they’re afraid that they’ll be rejected by the person they’re attracted to.

It can also be that they have bad intentions, so they hide behind a fake profile. This is usually the case when a catfisher wants to lure you into giving them money. They either love bomb you and tell you a sob story, or they find a way to blackmail you.

To avoid being catfished, it helps to identify them early on before they get the chance to manipulate you.

The Types of Catfishers

Scammers love catfishing people to steal their victims’ money. But not every catfish online is a scammer; some merely want to experience love and affection. Their intentions may differ, but they have one thing in common:

They’re not who they claim to be.

Even if what they’re doing isn’t technically a financial scam, it’s still considered a scam in the sense that people invest their emotions and time in them, just to be made a fool of for believing in made-up stories and fake photos.

Be aware of these types of catfishers:

The Hopeless Romantic: Catfishing for Love

This is one of the most common catfishing cases that happens globally. Either you or someone you know has been a victim of this kind of catfishing.

In most cases, this would be pretty harmless. People online who aren’t physically appealing in real life would make up lies about themselves and use someone else’s photo to attract potential matches.

They create a persona to express their feelings while hiding their identity and looks, so they can easily talk to or attract the person they like. They know they have no chance with that person, so they resort to faking their profile and using someone else’s photo.

A man with serial codes shining on his face

Beware of internet dating fraudsters! They give you fake love and fake intentions just so you can trust them.

Fishing for Gold: Catfishing for Money

While some want love and validation, others scam people into sending them money. This often happens to older men who are desperate to find someone to love.

An internet dating fraudster creates a dummy account with another person’s information, as well as the scammer’s photos used for the profile, and uses the victim's desperation to their advantage.

They target wealthy, older men. They start by love bombing them to manipulate them emotionally. Once they become attached, they make up a sob story to get the men to pity them and send them money.

Sadly, older men are susceptible to being gaslighted by scammers. In fact, in 2011, it was found that victims had been swindled out of more than $2.9M by catfishers.

The Vengeful: Catfishing for Revenge

This type of online dating hoax is often practiced by people who were dumped by their partners. Their rage about their heartbreaking experience causes them to want to get back at their exes.

It is a type of revenge plot for those who took a breakup badly. Typically, they create a fake profile to lure out their exes, make them fall for them, and break their heart when they start to get attached.

Can Catfishers Get Imprisoned?

Technically, there are no laws against Catfishing. However, illegal activities involved in catfishing can result in incarceration.

Catfish scams tend to lead to extortion, swindling, blackmail, bribery, or predatory advances, which are violations of the law.

So are catfishers criminals? Not really. But if they get involved in money scams or blackmail, then yes, that person is a criminal.

Prevention and Safety

Just like every romance or online dating scam, you have to ensure that the person you’re talking to is real and not a made-up account. If you’re ever on a dating app, make sure that their account has the verification badge.

But sometimes, even a verification badge isn’t enough indication that you’re in the safe zone. That’s why you have to bring in your detective skills.

So, how can you avoid being catfished?

Social Media Cross Referencing

Social media is basically a person’s online journal. Their account can tell you a lot about them and who they are. As such, social media is a good way to find out if someone isn’t who they say they are.

In this case, you’re going to have to find a way to find their social media. You can either search for their name or just ask them directly. Some people might want to keep their social media private, but if you are lucky, they’ll willingly give it away.

Once you have their social media, the first thing you should do is to check for consistency. Check their name and other personal information. You can also check if the photos they upload are consistent. If most of their photos have only been recently uploaded, it likely means they only recently made that account, which is sketchy at best.

You should also check the timeline of their activities. Sometimes, they’re smart enough to lengthen the periods of their posts or stories.

Ask for Random Pictures or Videos

Another effective way to identify if the person you’re talking to is a catfish is to ask them to send you pictures or videos of them doing a specific pose. But be careful, though, be respectful enough when you ask for these photos, or you’ll risk coming off as a creep.

Don’t ask them to do a peace sign, there are thousands of people who post pictures of themselves doing that. A simple yet effective way to confirm they’re real is to ask them to write down the date and time on a sheet of paper, and hold it across their face.

It may be silly, but it’s a surefire way to know you’re safe with that person. You can offer to do the same to return the favor.

Jump on a Video Call

A lot of catfishers avoid going on video calls for obvious reasons—they don’t want to expose who they really are. Hence, this is one way to effectively know if you’re talking to a real person.

Don’t be afraid to suggest a video call session at some point in your correspondence. Just make sure to reciprocate so they won’t think it’s one-sided.

Catfishers might be able to alter or manipulate their voices, but they won’t be able to manipulate their faces in real time.

Ask Probing Questions

Don’t be afraid to ask questions, even about the little things. The more you ask them about things, the more details they will have to remember—a catfisher’s nightmare.

If there’s one thing that reveals catfishers, it’s inconsistency in their stories.

For example, ask them what college program they took. They’ll tell you one thing. But if you ask them again some other time, they might tell you another thing.

Trust Your Guts and Instincts

After doing every verification process, and you still feel like the person you’re talking to is fake, then you might as well trust your gut and stop talking to them. Remember, if someone seems too good to be true, it’s probably because they are.

“But what if they’re the person they say they are?”

It’s up to you whether to believe they’re real or not. Either way, you've got nothing to lose.

With knowledge to properly navigate online dating, your dignity will be intact, you won’t be scammed into anything, you won’t fall for catfishing tricks—you’re safe. And that’s what matters.

External References Used:

Different Types of Catfishing & How to Prevent Scams | By Anggi Pradhini https://www.datingnews.com/daters-pulse/different-types-of-catfishing/

Catfish: The TV Show: MTV delves into online relationships | By Rick Porter https://web.archive.org/web/20130514080534/http://blog.zap2it.com/frominsidethebox/2012/08/catfish-the-tv-show-mtv-delves-into-online-relationships.html

8 Types of Catfish on Catfish | By Lindsey Weber and Jeanette D. Moses https://www.vulture.com/2013/08/eight-types-of-catfish-the-tv-show.html

What is catfishing and what can you do if you are catfished? | By Sen Nguyen https://edition.cnn.com/2024/01/29/tech/catfishing-explained-what-to-do-as-equals-intl-cmd/index.html